I’ve spent so much time coding lately that I’m watching numbers swim before my eyes every time I try to relax and settle down.

Two big projects on the go and one little personal one that I’ll probably open source when I think its worth sharing. Its just a little anti-spam bit of code for websites.

I’ve been getting through things rather well lately. Then this afternoon, for some reason I cannot explain, I hit the wall. I’m fidgety and anxious and grumpy and tense and I really don’t understand why… I’d been having such a good day and the weekend was pretty good for the most part too.

Maybe its just the really major desire for a cigarette that cannot be fulfilled. Thats a nearly 20 year habit I’m trying to break. Good luck with that right? :-P Well, maybe not… Who knows… I figure as long as I’m screwed, it might as well be proper right? ;-)

I know Monique is very pleased at the prospect of me quitting. My family will probably be over the moon. My youngest brother and his wife have quit which really put the pressure on me to do the same.

For the most part, the decision has been forced on me simply because I have no money at all. None. Not a cent. Struggle city. Fortunately the news last night was that the price of cigarettes is going up yet again. Its already gone up once this year. Yippee. :-P Currently its $15.40 for a pack of 30 local brands. I’d wager the new price will be $16 or so. Thats a lot of money to literally burn.

Yes, I’m rambling about it. Trying to convince myself that quitting is exactly what I need to do.

HELP!!!!! Dunno how I’m going to do this. I don’t remember what its like to not smoke. I started smoking when I was 14 and was a full time smoker by the time I was 16. Thats more than half my life ago.